I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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