You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
