reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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