I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
