Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
