OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
