Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Sorry about my life...
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
