wat bout pragnant strippers??
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
