I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
BRING THE BAGELS
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
