she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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