Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize