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• (303): View more from Colorado

  he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.

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• (+79): View more from

  Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.

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• (727): View more from Florida

  His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!

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• (516): View more from New York

  I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something

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• (206): View more from Washington

  If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.

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