i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
