No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
We named our party play list daddy issues
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
