Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Vodka?
Forever.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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