The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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