Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
