So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
