Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Apparently you make a good broom.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
