just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
