Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
