I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
