you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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