No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Randomize
