I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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