This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
