Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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