Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
