epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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