I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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