Where did you get a picture of my penis
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
