Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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