either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
