so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
