Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
