The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
