I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
