Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
