who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Houston, we have a blender
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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