Midget sex pt 2 tonight
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Randomize
