We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
