He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Actions speak louder than pants.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
