did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
