Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
