Kiss
Puke
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
50% drunk capacity currently
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
