no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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