she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
