drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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