I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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