i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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