i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
that's an acceptable place to lick
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
