Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Randomize
