I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
