Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Randomize