yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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