Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
