If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I don't deserve a penis
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
