well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
