ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
