Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
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