I wanna bring you to show and tell
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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