omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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