how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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