guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
