This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
