She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
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