No awkward lesbian experiences without me
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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