it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
honey bunches of taint.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
