Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
